Travelling solo can be exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure. Some are thrilled by the idea of boarding a plane on their own and heading into the unknown, whereas for others this is just the first hurdle to overcome. But the unrivalled sense of freedom makes it all worthwhile, I promise.
My first experience of venturing abroad on my own was for a week-long trip to Venice, to visit my friend who lived there. This was a great introduction to the idea of travelling solo, because I had to do ‘the hard part’, i.e. the journey, on my own, safe in the knowledge I had someone meeting me on the other side. Although still slightly nerve-wracking, it definitely made the experience more manageable, and instilled the confidence in me that navigating an airport is something well within my capabilities. That might sound silly, but taking baby steps can be just the solution you need to overcoming the anxiety that is holding you back.
As I write this I realise my next solo trip was quite a leap from flying to and from Italy alone. Early in 2019 I decided it was time to stop dreaming and start doing, so, pretty much on a whim, I booked flights for a two-month trip around Australia and New Zealand the following autumn. I had just come out of a relationship and wasn’t in the best place mentally, and felt like I needed to do something entirely selfish, something that would restore the faith and confidence in myself that had been shaken since the start of the year. I knew I wasn’t going to wait for anyone else to decide whether or not to join me; too many times plans had changed or been delayed in order to fit other people into them, and I wasn’t going to let it happen this time. It was a decision I made purely with me in mind, and that alone was incredibly liberating and did wonders for my mind-set. And what better way of leaving your troubles behind than flying half way across the world?
The way I travelled around each country was quite different. I can’t drive - although I wouldn’t have wanted to road trip it on my own, that would be so lonely - so the first challenge was figuring out how to get from A to B. I went to STA Travel (RIP) to book my flights, and they had loads of information about how to get around, the best places to stay, the most popular trips etc. Obviously, they worked based on commission so I knew they had to tell me about a lot of these operators, but as a first time solo traveller it was a huge help to have a rough guideline laid out for me. I didn’t actually book any trips until I got out there, but I did sort out all my travel arrangements before jetting off. Almost all backpackers get the Greyhound when travelling the East Coast of Australia, which was the route I was doing. This is a public bus service, much like the National Express or Megabus here in the UK, but I rarely saw anyone on it who wasn’t wielding a heavy rucksack and a slightly lost expression, so I was always amongst my own kind. In New Zealand, however, there isn’t really an equivalent - certainly not one with such an extensive network. Of course there is public transport, so it is possible to do it that way, but I was advised that most young travellers in NZ go for either a campervan (not an option for me, cry) or a tour bus like Kiwi or Stray if travelling solo, so I booked my spot on the Kiwi Experience bus and have absolutely no regrets.
So, let’s address the elephant in the room. How did I feel travelling around these foreign places on my own, particularly as a young woman? Before I delve into answering this, I want to make it clear that, bearing in mind everyone’s experiences are unique to them, I always felt incredibly safe in both Australia and New Zealand. One of the reasons I chose them as the destinations for my first big solo adventure was because they weren’t too dissimilar from home: I could speak the language, the customs and societal framework were familiar, they even drove on the same side of the road… All likely factors in me feeling safe and secure (ok, which side they happen to drive on had nothing to do with it but I’m painting a picture). I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone, learn the ropes of travelling and achieve a lifelong dream, but I had to start somewhere manageable to make sure I wasn’t out of my depth. You have to walk before you can run.
I did have one sketchy experience, only a few days after landing in Australia. I was wandering through the botanical gardens in Cairns when I passed by a man, not much older than me, on a bridge across a beautiful duck pond. He was going one way, I was going another. It’s strange looking back now, because I realise that I knew, from the brief moment I made eye contact with him, something wasn’t right. I was on edge immediately. He had a bike with him, and I remember the sound of the wheels on the bridge, and how they stopped shortly after I went past him. My stomach jolted as I sensed him watching me, and as I moved on a bit further ahead I peered over my shoulder to see him turn and start following me. This made me extremely nervous, as I didn’t know my surroundings at all, nor was I with anyone else, or even know anyone else at that point that I could contact who’d be nearby. To make matters worse, there weren’t many other people in that area of the park to give me a sense of safety in numbers. I felt totally alone for the first time since touching down, and it was really scary.
My saving grace came in the form of a woman working on a picnic bench. I hesitated for a while, trying to weigh up my options, but I knew he wouldn’t bother me if I was with someone else, so I asked to sit with her. She was so lovely and understanding as I explained the situation to her, clearly seeing that I was shaken by the experience and calmly making conversation with me so as to take my mind off it and settle my anxiety. I’m not sure how long I was sat with her, maybe 15 minutes or more, but she never made me feel rushed, reassuring me I could stay as long as I needed. The man did continue to watch me for a short while, but fairly quickly made a move when he realised I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Without this lady I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done, which makes me feel a mixture of emotions to this day; I’m both sad and angry that it happened, and that I needed someone else there to protect me in the first place, but also overwhelmingly grateful that I could trust her when I felt most vulnerable. I just wish I still knew her name, so my thanks could feel more personal, but I’ll never forget her kindness. After a while, once I felt as sure as possible that he wasn’t nearby, I said my goodbyes to this wonderful woman and made my way back to the hostel. I’m pleased to say this was the only incident of its kind that I experienced during the whole two months I was away, so I haven’t let it affect my view of Australia, or of travelling alone.
The majority of my time in Australia was spent with the same group of people, particularly from The Whitsundays down to Byron Bay. We happened to all be on a similar schedule, staying in the same hostels and going on many of the same trips together, which gave us plenty of time to really bond and get to know one another. I didn’t realise how much that impacted my experience until we separated after Byron. Some stayed on there, whereas those with a bit more time to spare went on to less travelled places like Yamba and Coffs Harbour, but I was off to Sydney. I spent most of my time in Sydney, and to less of an extent Melbourne, on my own, the scale of the cities exaggerating the feelings of being alone and starting again from scratch. It was alright though. I genuinely enjoy time on my own, having the freedom to explore at my own pace and do exactly what I want to do. It was the evenings that felt more lonely, but I don’t remember ever feeling down about it. My hectic schedule in Sydney probably served as a good distraction! Without a doubt I found it harder to meet and connect with people in the city hostels, Sydney especially, but again this could be due to how much I wanted to squeeze into such a short amount of time, not leaving me with much spare for socialising. To enjoy travelling on your own, particularly for long periods, you do have to feel comfortable spending time with yourself. Personally, I think it’s brilliant; taking yourself to amazing places, eating great food, it’s like going on the best dates - just with yourself, so no awkward small talk! If this is something you’re still learning to love, I’d suggest starting small. Begin with going out for lunch on your own, then treat yourself to a weekend away, and so on. Diving straight in at the deep end with months of travelling on your own might be too intense because, though you will definitely meet plenty of like-minded people, there will be times you’ll be left to your own devices.
The initial plan was that I’d travel the whole of New Zealand on the Kiwi bus, but whilst in Australia my boyfriend decided he wanted to fly out and join me for the South Island. He could drive and offered to hire a car so that we could do it the best way: camping! This change in plans meant I only travelled through the North Island on the bus and, other than my first couple of days spent in Auckland, I was with (pretty much) the same bunch of people for the whole week. It was a very different experience to my time in Australia, being much more structured and group-focused, so even though I was still travelling alone it didn’t feel so self-engineered. I’m not usually drawn to the idea of tour groups; there’s something instinctively unappealing about being shepherded along from one attraction to another and adhering to a strict schedule created by someone else. However, it was my only feasible option and was no doubt the best way I would meet other people, so I embraced it and ended up having such a brilliant time. We went to truly stunning locations, got treated to some exclusive experiences because we were with Kiwi, and now we get to share the memories with each other forever.
Undoubtedly, the most daunting part of travelling solo is arriving in a new place for the first time, full of the fear that you won’t make any friends. Basically, the first day of school all over again. However, the vast majority of people who travel do so on their own, so everyone is super open and ready to get to know each person that walks through the door. Go with an open mind and a willingness for adventure and you will have the best time! And yes, you will meet people you like, you may even make friends for life. It was the most liberating and fulfilling thing I have ever done, leaving me with a lasting sense of freedom and self-confidence that has influenced every decision I’ve made since. It did wonders for me when I needed it the most, and I know it can, and will, do the same for you, if you just take the leap.
Top Tips for Solo Travel
Get a local sim - this will make it so much easier to connect with the people around you, loved ones back home, and navigate your new surroundings. It will make the whole experience feel less intimidating.
Be confident! Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there early on by asking your roommates, or the guys you get talking to at dinner, if they want to join you when you go to A or B - 99% of the time they will say yes, and the very worst thing they can say is no. Pretty good odds if you ask me.
1st time travelling solo? Make it easier on yourself by eliminating big obstacles at the planning stage. For example, choose a destination that speaks a language you are confident in, and/or somewhere with a solid reputation for young, solo travellers. This way, if any issues do arise, it will be easier to tackle them.
Have all your important contact information (your number, a parent’s number, tour company’s number if using one, etc) written down on paper, as well as in your phone. This is both a safety measure and just a simple precaution. Keep it in your main backpack/suitcase; this way, if the bag gets lost, or (god forbid) you do, whoever finds it will have all the information they need to help. A scary thought, I know, but always best to be prepared.
Stay in hostels! I know they don’t have a great reputation, and often you will get what you pay for. But I was (usually) pleasantly surprised by them, and they’re designed for solo travellers, so this is where you’ll meet everyone. There are usually ‘popular’ hostels that most of the travellers you meet will be staying in. This rule didn’t apply to every place I stayed, but most. In Australia that was either Nomads or Base. Staying in one of these increases your chances of staying with people you’ve met on trips or in other locations, plus you can usually book said trips from the front desk. It goes full circle!
Be flexible - making a plan is great, essential in many ways because it will mean you’ll make the most of your time. But if you can, leave some wiggle room so you don’t feel restricted by your schedule. You’ll probably end up meeting someone who’s staying an extra day in Town A, and you want to stay with them. If you keep your dates fairly flexible, you’ll be able to adjust them as and when you like. The best way to achieve this is by booking hostels as you go, and only booking a few trips ahead of time so you have the skeleton of an itinerary, but it’s not yet fully formed. Provided you stay on top of it, this can transform your trip.